Lia Thomas has been taking the swimming world by storm. Over the last year, Thomas has only lost one swim race. However, Thomas was recently destroyed by the newest elite woman's competitor.
At the Canadian Understudies College of Knowledge (AKA, C.U.C.K.) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stood atop the platform wearing a giant set of flippers in her Matel 'Pretty Pretty Princess Mermaid' outfit.
Photo of AOC in her official swim racing outfit - Photo Courtesy of Howie Feldasnatch
Upon hearing the gun, Cortez simply ripped through the water, beating Thomas by nearly 30 seconds. After the race, Honest Times reporter, Purdy Mauth, caught up with Cortez for comment.
"Sometimes like, people rip on me, and like, say things that like, are really mean. Like, I'm cheating, and stuff. And like, they are just jealous cause, like, they want to sleep with me or something. Like, I totally identify as a mermaid." AOC continued, "Ever since my sugar Daddy took me to go see the Little Mermaid when I was 12, like, I totally identify as that. And like, my sugar Daddy told me that I'm his special lil' hot Mermaid, then, yep, I am a mermaid. So, like....ummm...yeah! Now I'm just a cutsie lil' 12 year old mermaid who is a really really fast swimmer."
Thomas over heard and shouted out, "There is no such thing as a mermaid. You're just pretending to be something that you simply just are NOT."
"Bitch", shouted back AOC, "you need to slow your roll girlfriend and 'man-up'. Your just mad cause you are not even 1/2 the woman I am."
From that point security at the event had to separate the two in fear their yelling would turn into a cat fight.
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