Jacob Blake Statue to be Erected at Site of His Death

"Another Black Soul Taken Too Soon" - Al Sharpton

Kenosha, Wisconsin:

In the aftermath of the shooting death of Jacob Blake the world is reeling from another senseless killing of a rapist criminal.  The city’s residents took to the streets to join BLM, in the killing of another black man.  "I is outrage"! Preached Reverand Al Sharpton shouting his famous line.

Kenosha DOJ, Mooshy Whiteguy, said, “It was racist of me to initially say the shooting was self defense. That’s my white male privilaged superiority talking.  After BLM lovingly told me they’d kill my family if I didn’t bring Sheskey to justice, I realized that I had jumped to conclusions. The shooting of Blake was clearly a racist murder. Did I read that prepared statement correctly?” he said as a BLM leader stood by ominously looming over while peacefully pointing a gun at Whiteguy's head. 

Blake has been reported to have an extensive criminal record, but his baby mama explained that the rape charges were perhaps a bit harsh. “Jacob wauz jus uzin his finger to check my internal temperature. His babies was in da car & day know how to take care demselves", said Blake's Ex.  The third degree domestic assault and battery charges were also explained by his baby mama as “Jus a disagreement over dat hoe round the corner he was trying to git wif.”  

Chants of “Take our homes. Take our women. Take our Cash!” resonated in the streets as white Kenosha onlookers were guilt stricken at their undeniable responsibility for death.  A nearby homeowner, Jennifer Shameface, said “It’s time that white America faces the fact that we are all responsible for every white on black murder.”  When asked how atonement should be made, Shameface said, “If BLM comes to your house, you should obviously come out and sexually satisfy him while your husband watches and applauds.” Cucky Shameface, Jennifer's husband, whole heartedly agreed.

Photo Below: Artist rendering of future Blake Statue

A statue of Jacob Blake will be erected at the scene of the crime. The Reverend Al Sharpton will give a riveting eulogy about Blake's love for his baby mamas, Ex-Girl, his hoe from the next block, and his 20+ kids.  His unpaid child support payments will be taken up by several middle age Karens who feel horrible white guilt.  Although they weren’t there that night, they must do their part toward reparations for the horrors of racist self defense murders."

At he time of this writing, none of the people we interviewed realized that Jacob Blake is still alive.

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