"I'm so proud of my Son, Jill for his Nobel Peace Prize Nomination" - Joe Biden
#HunterBiden, son of the #Democratic candidate for #President of the United States, #JoeBiden, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The nomination comes from none other than the President of the #Ukraine, #VolodymyrZelensky.
”Ve vould like to no-minnate Hunter Biden for day Nobel Peace Prize”, said Zelensky in a heavy Ukraine accent. He continued, “Any man who kicks out of military dishonorably, do cocaine vif hookers, knock up stripper vif baby and deny her monye, den get job on board of Burisma vif no knowledge of Ukraine or energy making millions, vif out going to jail....Dat is definition of hero! It give hope dat Ukraines can aspire to have dad who vill love dem. In Ukraine fathers piss on their children to show happiness, vich is step up from pooping on dem.”
We spoke to Hunter Biden at 7 am today, inside his home for his direct comment. We were greeted by Hunter's personal assistant & loud music in his house nightclub. ”OMG, this is great”, said Hunter with bloodshot eyes, reeking of marijuana, and had a strong smell of vodka on his breath. “I mean, Daddy told me to act surprised that I was getting nominated. Do I look surprised enough?”
”Yes you do“, I replied. “What else can you tell us about your nomination?”
”Well“, Hunter continued, “I didn’t think I was going to get the nomination. That’s when Aunt Hillary, pushed Daddy aside and took the phone from him and started yelling in what I think is Russian. ”
”You mean Ukraine?” I asked.
”Russian, Ukraine...whatever man, their bitches are all the same to me. You can only fit about 50 in sea container if you give them enough food and water for the trip. These two came over about three weeks ago”, he said as he pointed behind to the topless women dancing on the poles in his home. “The transportation company lost last week's shipment of 50. They still can’t find the sea container so I’m assuming they are dead by now. I’ll have more next week if you want to order some.
Anyway, after Aunty Hillary hung up the phone, she gave me the title to this cool island in the tropics and my own jet plane for my Birthday. She told me that Uncle Bill will meet me on the island as long as I bring a sea container full of young 'product'. But, yeah, this award will be sweet when I win.”
“What makes you so sure you will win the peace prize”, I asked?
To which Biden replied, “Why don’t you ask that question to Aunt Hillary?”
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What questions would you like us to ask Hunter Biden in our follow up interview? Leave us a comment.
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