Over the last few weeks I’ve received several concerned emails from our avid readers asking about the political soul of their favorite pet. Most of you are worried that you little buddy could be a (gasp) Democrat. Over the last four years we have been cataloging data on your trusted sidekicks and some of the information is rather disturbing.
Surprisingly, Birds typically turn out to be Libertairans. They are too flighty to ever get serious and give the opportunity they will fly out of your house and never look back. They seem smart, they can talk, but we don’t understand them so we keep them locked away in a cage. They love to play but perhaps too much to be taken seriously.
We are sorry to inform you that most dogs are democrats. They blindly follow you around only wanting to please their master. They hang out in packs like little gangs. They are 100% dependent on you for eveything. You have to take care of them, feed them, even bathe them. They wine and whimper, they do as they are told, and love to play fetch. They are constantly looking for a treat hand out. Leave a dog out of it’s cage and you will come home to what looks like a BLM/Antifa disaster zone. If they get too much attention they go completely ballistic.
Don't worry too much about your dog being a Democrat. However, you should be Leary of them as they tend to bite the hand that feeds.
Cats on the other hand are typically Republican. They walk to the beat of their own drum. They are independent thinkers who are self-reliant. They can get along with other cats, dogs, people. They are relatively docile, but if you piss them off, they will strike hard. They know how to hunt, groom themselves, humor themselves, but are easily distracted with cool toys like lasers.
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