”I Have A.I.D.S.” - Chris Wallace
Like many Americans, who watched the first presidential debate, we were completely taken back by the lack of respect on both sides of the fence. However, what really stood out was the moderator of the debate, Chris Wallace. Today, Chris Wallace has announced his resignation from Fox News.
Wallace had applied to be a correspondent for the #HonestTimes. Though we would never hire a liar like him, we were happy to secretly record our conversation with Chris. Below are some direct quotes that we took out of context. We figure is #CNN, #ABC, #CBS, #NBC, #NPR, #WashingtonPost, #NewYorkTime, and #MSNBC can all take quotes out of context. Why shouldn’t we?
Wallace: “It was getting harder and harder for me every day that I was there. I’ve been done with Fox for some time! I mean, I’m a bleeding heart liberal working in a place where I’m surrounded by brilliant Republicans like Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Greg Gutfeld...I could go on and on. I just can’t work there. What do I say when people challenge my thoughts? No, seriously! I don’t know what to say when someone challenges my ideas. Do you have any suggestions?”
While we were interviewing Wallace, we asked, “Are you sick? Is that why you are resigning from Fox?”
”I have AIDS?", said Wallace.
HT: "Oh no I'm so sorry." How did you contract aids?"
Wallace: "They have been helping me for for years. I contracted them in writing my speaches for one year but ketp renewing that contract."
Clearly by now you realize that Wallace does not have the disease aids, but his aids are people who help him. But our staff and I thought it would be fun to take that whole statement out of context. Now I know why all the lying liberal media outlets like doing it. It’s fun!
I told Chris we don’t have much money to pay him. Fox was giving him millions a year. We pay...ah...well...we don’t pay at all.
Wallace: "None of the big TV networks will hire me, the newspapers won’t take me... I guess I’m going to have to take that job on Biden’s campaign."
HT: ”Oh the P.R. job?"
Wallace: "No, the one where you have to rub the hair on his legs in the pool and bounce up and down on his lap."
As Chris was packing up from our interview, he dropped a photo. (OK, OK, we stole it from his briefcase while he was in the bathroom.)
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